So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
