you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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