They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
