I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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