dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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