we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
