I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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