I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Congratulations! We have a period
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize