garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
