I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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