No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
