i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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