Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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(314): View more from Missouri

I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.

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(503): View more from Oregon

do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?

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(925): View more from California

She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

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(847): View more from Illinois

You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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(716): View more from New York

i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.

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(317): View more from Indiana

The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband

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