Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
