We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just want to make out with him forever
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
