just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
