These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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