I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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