pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
