just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
