fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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