I smell stomach acid.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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