too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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