North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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