Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
