This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
