Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
