When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize