this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Found your dick twin last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
