I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
