I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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