Don't you send me to vm
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
