you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize