I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
