its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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