Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
