I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
