I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
