She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize