you will always have a special place in my vag
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
