Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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