I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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