he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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