I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
