I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
