you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
