If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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