I hope mine doesn't look like that
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
