In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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