sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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