Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
