I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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