so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
