I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
