Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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