Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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