pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
