i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
