Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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