so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
