Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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